Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother and her aunt were sexually abused by a family member when they were young.  When they started seeking therapy as adults and chose to name their abuser, I was shocked by how many people in the family were FURIOUS with them for airing dirty laundry, not thinking about how it would impact others, not just getting over it, etc.

Abusers and dysfunctional people are fine with continuing the cycle of shame, secret keeping, denial, and gaslighting.  It’s what they know, it’s what they are comfortable with.  People who were raised this way will continue is the cycle.

[b]The kids can’t be protected from something that already occurred.[/b]  The cheating already took place.  Their lives have been massively altered.  The damage already happened.  Stop blaming the victim for putting a name to the event that caused the damage.  [/quote]
Lunacy. No wonder there are so many messed up adults. The mentality of treating children like adults and putting adult burdens on them is absolutely insane. These kids stand no chance to grow up and be healthy adults with your beliefs.[/quote]

OMFG with the victim blaming! Cheating is ALWAYS aired in the end. The kids always figure it out one way or another. [/quote]
There’s no victim blaming in the post, it’s speaking to the abstract. That you apply the scenario to your behavior is pretty telling. Clearly you have inappropriately burdened your kids, there’s no other reason for the ratcheting hysterics. Get help - your posts are filled with rage and pretty scary at this point. [/quote]

My "posts" (plural)?  Uh, no.  And I haven't been cheated on, but I've seen it ruin marriages around me and the kids universally knew. In one case, it was the talk of the town. [/quote]

Don’t worry. Of course this is the logical answer. There is an insane cheater here posting repeatedly who is clearly terrified his kids will find out the truth. [/quote]

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