Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.[/quote]

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.[/quote]
This is a fascinating fairy tale you've told yourself. My DH works ~60 hours and is the primary earner, but I work ~40-45 and still have what would be considered a high-paying, demanding job. DH wanted more than the 2 kids we have, and he's not unusual.

One difference, though, is that DH is okay with a lot more outsourcing than OP.[/quote]

+1 dual career, more than one kid, husband does his share at home. I think a lot of people on here are projecting their experiences on OP. Not sure if she needs to be taking advice from people whose husbands expected them to stay home, either explicitly or implicitly by not agreeing to step up. It doesn’t sound like that is really her situation.[/quote]

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