Reply to I finally set a boundary with in laws and they made me feel bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The entire reason not to insist on arriving at someone’s home five hours before being invited is always mental health of your host. They don’t want you to come at that time they want you to come later. If you come long before you are invited they will be less happy than if you come later. No one who is an adult should be insulted by this obvious fact [/quote]

Not everyone understands these basic manners, it seems.[/quote]

Whoever taught you manners failed. It's a pity that you think it's good manners to tell people that they are affecting your sanity by coming early (like they usually do).[/quote]

This thread is so interesting in its inconsistencies.  On the one hand, people are arguing that the in-laws should be treated as such close family that they should be allowed to come and go as the please regardless of OP's needs or preferences.  But on the other hand, they should be treated as polite acquaintances to whom should need confide that things have been stressful and you're feeling overwhelmed. [/quote]

So you confide in your close ones by telling them that seeing them early affects your sanity. Interesting...

It makes sense that you see inconsistencies. I don't talk to my loved ones like that.[/quote]

That's quite a narcissistic way of hearing it.  Someone able to look outsides themselves might interpret it as OP saying she needs some uninterrupted time to get things done so she can relax and enjoy their visit instead of ignoring everyone (and feeling bad about it) while she scrambles to finish everything. [/quote]

And someone able to look inside themselves would say it just as you did instead of counting on interpretations, narcissitic or not. Ah, I see you left room for misinterpretation by using "might".

And that is why I don't talk to my loved ones like that. [/quote]

Someone who repeatedly calls other people “assholes” instead of simply offering different viewpoints doesn’t get to lecture anyone about how to speak to others. -np[/quote]

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