Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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Reply to "I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If OP were reduced to a slogan, it would be,

"The Man is the Plan"[/quote]

She makes 250k. He makes less. She does not want to feel like she is carrying the load of the family when he can’t step up. [/quote]

She just wants to have her cake and eat it. Only a woman would think she is entitled to not carry the family load. Men do this all the time. Does OP pay her DH for unpaid work? [/quote]

Men are not doing two jobs…usually. Women who work often do full time jobs and almost all the household crap. Men have a kid and go back to work like nothing ever changed. I have lived that and so have many of my friends. These men are not “sharing the load”—they are benefitting from their wife doing most of the work at home and while earning money. Unless they can relieve some stress of their wife, they are taking advantage.[/quote]

But we don't know that that is happening here. Don't project your own issues. OP is just complaining because she has a stressful job (supposedly) and her husband, who makes a good income, has a non-stressful job. She wants him to have the higher earning job so she can coast. She said as much. Don't make this about your hobby horse.[/quote]

Op says she can’t imagine him doing meal planning, etc. it seems she is doing most of the parenting, too: I am not projecting.[/quote]

"Meal planning" - ha. Ok. First of all, meal planning takes all of 10 minutes a week. There is no basis to believe that he is not "sharing the load." You said you "lived that". But that's not what OP started this thread to talk about. She wants a lot of money, but she doesn't want to work hard and be stressed out. This is not 1 of the thousands of threads about "sharing the load." You are definitely projecting.[/quote]

She feels taken advantage of…that is enough for him to step up in some way to care about her stress. He could do this at home.

Divorce solved the issue for me. [/quote]

Divorce is not going to create the high income OP yearns for. It is a big financial stressor. High earners are not likely to want to marry OP, age and kids do matter. OP regrets her life choices but making the best of things and appreciating the good fortune your family has is still on the table, OP. [/quote]

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