Reply to Wife wants to be "alone" so this means we divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you actually want to spend time with her and make an effort to do so, or do you do what my DH does at night— which is vanish upstairs after dinner to read and watch sport’s while I interact with the kids, attend to a ton of household management needs.   The resentment builds up and honestly, it wouldn’t take much to dissipate it— all he would need to do is actually be the initiator once in a while for us spending time together.  So how much time over the last 20 years have you been the one to say, “let’s go on a date night, or away for a weekend, or just even take a walk”?[/quote]

I haven’t read the whole thread, but so much this. I am similar to your wife, OP. I gave up my successful career to be the one to put family and household first. My DH felt that earning the income was his contribution, and it is to a point. But it sucks to do all the tedious and invisible work by default for so long and also be offered so little recognition and so little emotional intimacy. Now that the kids are grown, it’s time for me to prioritize my own wants and needs. If DH can be supportive (including initiating quality time together) then we have a future together. If he expects the next 20 years to be like the last, he’s going to be disappointed. [/quote]

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