Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous]OP's plan is not realistic or sustainable, especially his time estimates. It's toll on his nuclear family life will great. As someone who has done eldercare for multiple grandparents, parents, and other relatives, I can say this is a terrible plan. People with dementia and/or other severe health conditions at some point will need some level professional care even if it's only part time. The faster that OP and his family realizes it, the faster that they can come up with an appropriate plan for the mother's care.

OP's description of his mother's condition sound odd. She's ok for 4 hours but not 4.5? Chances are that her condition is a lot worse than he's describing. Maybe, he himself is in denial. But it sounds like 4 hrs is absolute minimum she can be alone before there's a major disaster. I'm sure that the strain of care taking is also a lot for OP's father.

The best course of action is to hire someone from 2-6. That minimizes the time that OP's mom is alone. It also give OP's father time to recharge a little after work. The sister should pay for this.

As a social worker, OP's wife has probably seen situations like this play out. Agreeing to OP's terrible plan would not be helpful at all, especially in the long term.[/quote]

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