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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this isn’t the point of the thread, but I’m so happy to read people taking offense to the disparity in gifting sums of money! My parents always gift my DH and I a chunk of money to the two of us, and they do the same for my siblings and their spouses. My inlaws, OTOH, gift my DH $500 every year and gift me one fifth of that. Honestly it’s nice to receive something but it’s just incredibly awkward and cringeworthy for them to pass out 3 $500 checks and then give me a $100 check.(DH’ sibling are both single thus far)  And everyone opens the envelopes at the same time. I just feel so awkward!! I wish they would skip my $100 check altogether and just address my DH’s envelope to both of us. I’ve never complained about it but I definitely think in my head “how tacky!!!” [/quote]
You know, I bet your in-laws are actually very sweet people who are thinking "I know DS and Larla can share their check, but it's awkward not acknowledge Larla as a separate person...we should give her a little something too!" Meanwhile they aren't really wanting to gift a full additional $500 just to you b/c their other children might feel like that's pretty unfair that your DH and his wife get $1000 when they "only" get $500.

Family dynamics are weird, but give them a little grace on this one, PP. And maybe consider that they are doing this so as NOT to appear rude and thoughtless, rather than the other way around.[/quote]
Yeah, this discussion probably deserves it's own thread...but I'm with this PP. But, if it offends you, your spouse should raise it with their parents.

I can say for certain that with my parents the large checks are a way of handing over some of their estate without incurring taxes. They would usually write me a large check, and sometimes they would give DH a physical gift as well (like a sweater or something). They know we have joint finances, but in the past while we were merging them joint checks created issues which they know about. They've stepped up the amount they are gifting in recent years, so they will write each of us a large check in order to stay under the gift limits. I also wonder if, now that we have been married 9 years, they feel more comfortable handing large sums to DH directly. Obviously our finances have been joint since marriage, but I kind of get the hesitancy. My sister finds it offensive that they have treated BIL more like family over time rather than from their wedding day, but I don't. I'm generally more practical, though, especially when it comes to money.[/quote]

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