Reply to Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do think that in some way SAHM's contribute to the "Mom Industrial Complex."  I am someone who was extremely ill-suited to being a stay at home mom and who was deeply unhappy as a SAHM.  Unfortunately, in a society there is still this idea of the toned woman who is happy and organized and completely fulfilled by staying at home, doing crafts and decorating.  This ideal can be harmful to people who don't fit this ideal -- for whatever reason (just like the ideal of the Alpha Male can be harmful to guys who don't fit this mold).

I'm older now but as I look back, I do think that I was harmed by the incredible expectations that we encounter from so many sources that say:  You should volunteer to stay home, you should love it and you shouldn't feel resentful or conflicted.

I would look around and think "If Sheryl is fine introducing herself to people as someone who used to be a lawyer, and if Annie has no problem with having a law degree from Duke and never practicing law ever again, then there's something wrong with me because I"m so unhappy doing the same."

I hope that my girls won't end up feeling the same way in fifteen or twenty years -- feeling like they're kind of forced by society to give the whole SAHM thing a try, and feeling like a failure if it didn't work out for them.

That's the thing.  You all can argue that SAHM'ing is a perfectly reasonable choice that you chose freely , but your "choosing" it makes it harder for those who don't choose it, because it establishes the ideal that choosing to SAHM is the norm and those who choose otherwise are aberrrant, selfish, entitled, whatever.[/quote]

This is all in your head. Read what you wrote again. It's all about how you feel and how you ASSume people feel about you and your choices. No one outside of you immediate family cares whether you are working or not. Don't you get that??

SAH is not for you. Fine. Go back to work. Just don't malign the women who do derive a sense of purpose and satisfaction from it. You don't want them doing that to you, so you shouldn't do that to them.[/quote]

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