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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "S/O Did you marry a winner?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What were the signs? For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work. [b]And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.[/quote][/b] Wow that is a red flag[/quote] In what planet?[/quote] I think thread' like these are interesting because they highlight what different people value in a relationship and how different the same action can be perceived by different people. Perhaps, PP sees this as a redflag because it might mean the man has difficulty putting boundaries in place with his mother, and that his wife would always play second fiddle to mom. Personally, I would find the phone calls sweet assuming there weren't other behaviors pointing to him lacking boundaries. On the other hand, a pp mentioned her boyfriend did her laundry for her I would have considered that a red flag for a man with controlling, OCD tendencies BTDT, but that is me. What works for one doesn't work for another.[/quote] Really? I am the PP whose boyfriend did my laundry when we were dating. Why would you consider that OCD tendencies(I am curious)? He does the laundry for everybody now, kids and relatives who stay over included. He also does the dishes and the toilets. I cook and I vacuum as well. I cannot even imagine how making 3 phone calls to relatives on Sunday can be considered a sign of potential lack of boundaries. My husband calls his mother everyday. I too call my mother and one of my siblings everyday. Why is this strange? My mother (still married to my father) calls at least 3 of her siblings everyday(she has 10 of them).[/quote] Yes it is a problem. Sound like you talk to her about everything in your life. Grow up.[/quote] You see your coworkers every weekday, and you probably spend more time on small talk with them than I spend talking with my mother. Do you talk to them about everything in your life? What is this irrational fear of mothers?[/quote] +1. I talk in a group chat with my mom and one of my sisters daily, its an ongoing chat. I learned the hard way to steer clear of men who are not close with their families (barring abuse). The best guys I've dated were those who had a sister that they were protective of.[/quote]
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