Reply to Need help on getting 6 yr old ds to stop being mean to another kid in class

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please don't do the card thing.  A boy who continuously teased my daughter in kindergarten did that and it really put her on the spot.  I've been teaching that sorry doesn't always make it okay.  The first five times she was called a name and he apologized she accepted it, but continuously doing wrong and then saying sorry is unacceptable.[/quote]

Sorry can only (help) make things okay if you prove you're really sorry by your subsequent actions.[/quote]

I agree completely. I'm a mom and an elementary school principal. One thing we teach at my school is that when you apologize, you ask the person who you hurt "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I like this because it puts the power back on the one who was hurt. I've facilitated this with kids of all ages and have heard everything from "No, there's nothing," to "Just leave me alone," to "Sit with me at lunch," and more. It's really up to the other kid.

And we definitely emphasize how you demonstrate that you're really sorry and rebuild trust. I'll say, "Larla and I both heard you say you were sorry. And we'll know if you really mean it by how you act from now on. If you keep safe hands from now on, we'll know you really mean you're sorry. And we can start to trust that you mean what you say. But If you push her or anyone else again next week, next month or even next year, then we'll know you didn't mean it. Your actions matter."[/quote]

I love this! What a great pro-social solution.[/quote]

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