Reply to How to get her back? "The one that got away" recently divorced w/ 2 DC, messaged me.

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Reply to " How to get her back? "The one that got away" recently divorced w/ 2 DC, messaged me."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Okay then, I'd say ask her if she wants to meet up for lunch or coffee while the kids are at school. Progress to dinner and help figure out creative ways to find babysitters (you could pay for the babysitter or find a cousin who'll sit for her for free for a favor - whatever floats your boat) - just show her you're interested in her and understand that her kids come first & you're willing to work with that. Move on to attending the kid's games or having a 'family' picnic in the park.

Bottom line - talk to her face-to-face, see what she's looking for in life, explain where you're going, see if you're still a match, and make it clear you're not just looking for her ass but care about her kids as well.[/quote]
I like this advice, too, with the exception of the kids' games and family picnic...I would save anything to do with the kids until MUCH, MUCH later. Also, not that you need to be nosey about it, but I would want to know what led to her divorce. Is she planning on working now? Does she have a way to earn a living? Are you well-off, and that's why she's reaching out? Did you see any red flags before that you have conveniently forgotten?[/quote]

What led to her divorce;[b] her husband grew to be a bi-polar, combat veteran[/b], that was cheating for the second time. (not using veteran as a pejorative. I'm a combat veteran as well)

Is she planning on working now; [b]Yes, she's found a good job at Microsoft[/b], I think, through her sister-in-law.

Does she have a way to earn a living? Yes, and moved back to be closer to her family that is offering support.

Are you well-off; I own my own business and it keeps me comfortable. Adding 3 people to my bottom line would be taxing, but I could manage.

- My read on things is partly that I am a comfortable connection to the past, and partly that I have grown and matured while her husband remained bogged down in his issues. From what she's told me,  didn't grow emotionally or on his career, and it hurt the family unit. If I was managing an Arby's, I don't think I'd be having this conversation. [/quote]

Ahhh you're painting a clearer picture.

That's really too bad about her ex husband. If he became bi-polar as a result of combat, it's very possible he has TBI.  He should get treatment for that.  I know they're divorced, but if this is something that was never looked into, you should suggest it.  My husband has TBI, and we have to manage it.  I know this is not in your best interest, but as a friend and for the sake of her children who deserve to have a father, you really should mention this.

As for the two of you.. if you want a long lasting real relationship.  I second others' advice.  Be her friend and take it slowly, but be upfront that you want a romantic relationship, in time.  [/quote]

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