Reply to How to get her back? "The one that got away" recently divorced w/ 2 DC, messaged me.

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Reply to " How to get her back? "The one that got away" recently divorced w/ 2 DC, messaged me."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you single?[/quote]

Yes, I am single, never married.

Also, I'm 35 and ready to settle down. She's 33 and from what she tells me, really unsure about how to be out in the world after 10 years as an SAH mom[/quote]

Do you see yourself wanting kids with her and do you see yourself with a SAH wife?  That is a lot of responsibility to go from 35 and single to stepdad of two elementary age children plus possibly infants of your own and financially supporting everyone.  How does she see the future?  Does she see herself having more children and was she happy staying at home?  If you don't align on those big things, I don't see how a future relationship would work out.

Assuming you both want the same things, I think the advice about lunch and coffee dates in the beginning and progress to evening dates and events with the kids was good advice.  Go slow  enough to get to know each other again and reestablish the strong friendship while giving her enough space that she knows she can stand on her own feet. But not so slow that you are friend zoned or it isn't clear you are dating.  As for the big relationship things that seem to plague DCUM, it's the amount of sex once you have kids, division of labor with kids, ability to communicate well with your spouse, and extrovert/introvert pairings.  Keep an eye out for how those things might work as you two date and don't feel pressure that you have to be with her if you find you aren't compatible now.  Good luck.[/quote]

plus little kids (0-6 yo) can ruin relationships pretty fast.  do you want kids?  does she want more kids?

you two have a lot to talk about, so take it slow and keep dating other people until one makes sense to get serious with. eventually you will need to get her story of why she married and divorced, who pays what, visitation, etc. [/quote]

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