Reply to Any success in not being in charge of everything?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Any success in not being in charge of everything?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So much craziness on this thread.  I've been married 20 years to a guy who didn't know he had ADHD until after our oldest (now in HS) was diagnosed.  It explained so much.  I'm not suggesting anyone else's DH has ADHD but for those on the 'let him figure it out himself' bandwagon, I can assure you, that doesn't always work and why make things difficult for yourself?

If your DH's lack of planning/forethought/consideration are causing problems in your marriage - get counseling!  Your life is about to get much harder.  You hire personal trainers, mechanics and doctors to help you in areas you lack expertise in.  Just because you're married doesn't make you an expert in relationships.  Consider it an investment.

If your DH takes direction well and will work from lists like mine, you are in an excellent position to get your needs met.  And, after a while, your DH will learn the routine - like refilling the diaper bag immediately upon returning home.  You don't want to have to make dinner in the evenings, tell him AHEAD of time that he's responsible for dinner for the week.  Make your expectations/needs clear and then write it down so he has a list.  I usually do it because I can then put it in the order things need to be done.  I've even been doing it for our HS DS.  Before he can play video games, he's got a list of things he needs to do. This list making is an excellent reinforcement/training for the skills he uses in school to keep track of his assignments and will be helpful in his professional life.  Guys like my DH and DSs (I have more than 1 DS with ADHD) struggle with organization and setting priorities for running a household.  Leaving them to do it on their own only results in frustration, extra expense and me not having what I want/need.  On the other hand, it's super easy for me to organize and make lists.

I know some people can't fathom having to make lists for their DH and giving him priorities. I get it.  You wouldn't have married him.   I don't care.  He's got lots of other positive things about him and rather than beating him up or making him feel like shit for something he struggles with, we do what works.

[/quote]

Your husband sounds just like mine. And we laugh and joke about all of my lists and about his forgetfulness.  We're quite happy[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics