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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you??  Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered. 
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"[/quote]

So, why didn't you just ask him to help you lift?[/quote]

He was standing two feet from me watching me. [/quote]

Just because his eyes are facing your general direction you doesn't mean he is paying attention.

Next time, just ask for help. Don't expect people to preemptively react to your every need without being asked. [/quote]

Serious question here in response. What about anticipating "some" needs ...? At what point is a relationahip that requires such explicit instructuon nothing more than a to-do list between a task master and her "helper" versus a partnership between two equals?

Doesn't this contribute to the learned helplessness he exhibits? Why is he entitled to just stand there while I do 19 other things including possibly injuring myself trying to get through a checkout on a major holiday shopping day?[/quote]

He may have just been lost in thought. It doesn't mean that he never has to do anything unless you ask. Why automatically jump to such cynical and dramatic conclusions?[/quote]

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