Reply to Pity party: not invited to holiday party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And you would or have excluded a person you liked because they didn't reciprocate?!
I occasionally entertain and have friends who ever do (babies at home), but I adore these friends and excluding them seems malicious and bizarre. [/quote]

It's not a simple failure to reciprocate.  It's a pattern.  I get the fact that some people have excuses for why they don't reciprocate.  I host a lot.  I have no problem with people who don't reciprocate.  But I make friends with many people and frankly, although big parties are nice, I often have a limit how many extra guests I can accommodate.  In order for everyone to have enough space and food to feel comfortable.  I'll have a limit that I can accommodate.  I'll invite family and close friends like college friends.  I'll then add the extras, parents of my children's friends or people I've volunteered with, or people I've recently met that I'd like to get to know better.  New people are on the list and will remain on the list, but over time if they've never reciprocated, then I may invite them less often, in order to make room for other people I'd like to accommodate.

In this case, OP has never reciprocated in over two years and has been invited to multiple gatherings.  She's talked about reciprocating, but never has.  The friend may have decided that they had too many, so will not invite OP this time, but will again invite her next year if they have space for additional guests.[/quote]

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