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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?[/quote]

OP here:  She's starting to talk about a coworker every day.  I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy.  I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week.  We have lunch together about once every two weeks.  The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.[/quote]

Tell her you are uncomfortable now before you hold it all in and build a wall of tension.[/quote]

This...and if she calls you out on jealousy...then she's hiding something.  She should respect your decision.

Beyond that, not much you can do, she's going to do what she does.  She has to make a decision what is more important, your marriage or her tingles.

If you communicate up front you don't like the tone of the conversations and you're firm and honest, she should respect that.  If not - hit the gym and work on your game...[/quote]

I would actually be really mad if my husband was upset with me having a male friend and accused me of being inappropriate. I would be careful on how to talk to her about it.

It would be best to use "I" statements instead of telling her how she's wrong. Say "I am feeling jealous/worried when you text and hang out with Bob all the time." This allows her the opportunity to apologize and try to make things right. Do Not say "You are flirting with Bob and it is wrong and you will ruin our marriage." This would immediately put her on the defensive ("It is not wrong to text my friends!") and make her less likely to address the problem. [/quote]
 You obviously didn't read what OP said or you have reading comprehension problems. He doesn't have an issue with his wife having a male friend and I think you meant emails for that matter but the issue is that she's constantly talking about him. If she's always bringing him up he's on her mind and that is bad. He is t stupid no the waters, to take a move I've pulled when I was single and didn't know her husband.  It starts with the inside jokes, little flirting, always making an effort to see her and spend time with her.  You take the husband out of the picture and as soon as she's thinking about you all the time, you move in and that's how it happens.  I've done it, I've seen it done.  It's a cold and calculating move but people are assholes generally.  OP is right to be concerned when she's constantly talking about him and sees they text constantly.  She should be spending that time away from work with her family and husband.  He should say something the second he's concerned, and don't use "I" statements or try beat around the bush.  Be direct, open and tell he frankly..look, you're talking about "Frank/Joe/Mike" all the time and you're constantly on the phone texting and talking to him even when we should be spending time together and I don't like it.  I want you to stop, and if you value me and my opinion you'll take my request into consideration.

Having and affair or being the person who initiates the affair isn't a "mistake" or a weak moment, it's a series of very conscious and calculated decisions made by both parties to betray their partners..those are the facts.[/quote]

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