Reply to If you were 39, would you have a baby even if you weren't married?

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Reply to "If you were 39, would you have a baby even if you weren't married?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your friend's priorities are completely out of order. First off, she just divorced a year ago. Second, the man doesn't want to marry her but does want a baby? That's weird. Third, she's willing to get pregnant with no legal/written commitment from him? Hell no. Fourth, she wants an expensive ring and a $10,000 vacation when funds are tight? Again no.

Honestly dating for less than a year is also a HUGE red flag. She's rushing into things. Why would he want to get married to someone he's known for such a short time? And then demanding all this other stuff?

I'd run.[/quote]

I think a lot of people these days are focused on the formalities and that's why majority of us end up divorced.  What he is saying is that he wants a family, but not the burden of marriage.  They both just came out of marriage.  It was no guarantee of success.  It was just a very expensive way to end things.  I think more and more people are realizing there are many ways to be happy and successful and you DONT have to fit a mold.[/quote]

Of course there are. But with the burden of marriage also comes the advantages of marriage. Why do you think the LGBT community fought so long for those rights? For kicks? No. It's a legal pact that puts both sides at a disadvantage if they simply just try to 'walk away'. It also gives the partner certain legal and intangible rights in regards to spousal support, medical care, home ownership, legal protections within the judiciary, tax benefits, and other things.

Right now this woman is opening herself up to financial and personal instability by having kids with a man she isn't married to and just met. Co-habitation for couples without kids, I totally support. Co-habitation with kids and no legal agreement and you'd better be as rich as Angelina Jolie in your own right, which it doesn't sound like this friend is if she's whining about an expensive vacation that she can't just pay for herself. [/quote]

Totally get what you are saying (I"m the one you are responding to). I totally get that there are many practical and legal advantages to having a legal relationship.  I was just saying that we shouldn't use it as a barometer for happiness or proper moral conduct. [/quote]

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