Reply to Does anyone have any experience in naming the other woman in the divorce proceedings?

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Reply to "Does anyone have any experience in naming the other woman in the divorce proceedings?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, OP, you go.  I'm the consult a lawyer person.

I think you might be able to out negotiate him, if he is afraid of publicity.

Remember "custody" is two things - legal custody and physical custody.  Legal custody is where you get to make all the decisions.  You could also go for joint legal cushy, but you have tie breaking authority.  That way you're the decision make but you have to consult with him in some sort of reasonable fashion before decision is made (you can write this into the custody agreement - something like you will provide information via email communications and if no answer is received within 3 days you will proceed with your deiciosn, but overarching another provision that you have tie breaking authority in matters of schooling, religion, medical, etc.).

Then there is physically custody.  You might come up with a 80/20 split or something that works.  But remember he is their father so you want them to have some level of relationship with him.  Don't be too short sighted here.

I think your legal consults are going to give you the best framework for what you can and can't reasonably get.  What you need to do is learn ALL your options, line up ALL your ducks, and in sum box him into a corner where you know all the answers and possible outcomes and negotiate your way into the best deal you can.  You probably do not want togo to court - the decision will be out of your hands.  You will be far bette of negotiating him into the best deal for you.  And if publicity is frightening to him, use it as the driver to get him to agree to an airtight custody agreement.

In the meantime, document, document, document.  Allow him visitation in a reasonable manner and document the hell out of everything you can.  Photocopy every document you can get your hands on before he has a chance to move anything around.

Are you the mom from the playground incident - where you met the AP and the chi,d at the playground?  If so, hugs to you - your DH is scum.

There's a yahoo group called Go Mom Go - google it or search on yahoo - that is a support group for divorcing moms.  It could be a big help to you.  [/quote]

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