Reply to Unhelpful MIL- whose job to tell her?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, you sound awful, OP. Your MIL is not your servant or slave! She's helping, presumably to the best of her ability, and you're furious that she hadn't taken out the trash before you returned home? And that she's not making freezer meals 24/7 or paying for your takeout? What planet do you live on where this is a requirement for family?

I say this as someone who had a serious neurological condition that prevented me from driving for 3 months and severely incapacitated me in most other respects. So I fully understand a medical emergency. But I somehow managed to work FT and care for 2 kids without ever expecting a relative to become my indentured servant. [/quote]

Perhaps our conditions are different. I didn't ask for her to do an exceptional amount of work. Very discrete tasks. [/quote]

You really are awful OP. Repeat after me: your MIL is helping you out, driving your kids, putting them to bed, helping get food on the table for everyone (yourself included.) The proper response to such help is gratitude.

If she's interfering with your ability to get work done (more, say, than wasting time on DCUM) then go into another room and close the door. Be an adult and tell her you need to focus. NBD.

But if you think your MIL is obligated to do everything you instruct her to do exactly as you see fit (and pay for your takeout too - what a cheapskate!) you've got a very transactional view of family. Unless you are suddenly paralyzed below the neck (which your DCUM posting rate suggests is not the case) you are still capable of managing basic tasks (even preparing for dinner believe it or not!) [/quote]

How about just picking up the phone and ordering delivery for a few weeks.  Arrange for another parent at daycare to take your kids and drop them off.  Have DH do the light cleaning and bedtime AND take out the trash!  Hire a housecleaner for deep cleaning.  OR just accept the help your getting even though it's not exactly what you want.

You don't need to complain about the free and uncomplicated help you are getting.  When someone is [i]helping[/i] it doesn't mean that you get to dictate all the details.
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