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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your husband is a full time PhD student then his inability/unwillingness to help is inexcusable. No PhD program is that demanding that he cannot spend a daily hour helping out. If he is working and doing the PhD part time then try to outsource as much as you can.[/quote]

I have 2 kids that I had as a professor at a top STEM school. DH was a professor too.  One with no maternity leave. There is no PhD program that leaves no time for a child whatsoever.  DH and I wrote papers and grant proposals while cuddling our babies or nursing them. And I cared for them outside of working. We had a 40 hour a week nanny but we're otherwise doing childcare.

The problem is not the PHD. Ignore the posters who worship it as some huge deal. There are lots of hard jobs and none, even president of the US or CEO excuse you from seeing your baby a few hours a day or week.  He is afraid or not interested in childcare and this could destroy your relationship if he doesn't confront it and change it.  After his PHD is done he will find something else intense to do so waiting is not advised.

You should discuss with your DH. He needs at least 1 small responsibility to start (bathing or doing one nap) In addition to supervising some playtime. You need daycare time to keep yourself sane (or a sitter).  It is not negotiable.  Good luck and come back here with an update.  We will hold him accountable![/quote]

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