Reply to Fearful avoidant/dismissive avoidant attachment in relationships

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Reply to "Fearful avoidant/dismissive avoidant attachment in relationships"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm pretty much this person.  I'm a woman with a history of trauma, and learned through experience that when you need people they won't be there so you can really only rely on yourself.  I'm also a nice, kind, empathetic person, so people often don't realize how much I can't connect on a deeper level.  I've often been in relationships where the other person is interested in me in part because they want to be the person who can break through, and when they realize that isn't actually going to happen, they leave.  My spouse had an emotional affair with someone I think is a horrible person, but who is great at the love bomb.  I am really sad about my marriage ending, in part because I thought I was going to have the rest of my life to work on my emotional issues in the safety of a relationship with my spouse, who I loved.  But, I don't show a lot of emotion about the divorce-friends comment that it's weird how well I'm doing considering. For good or bad, I'm a survivor.[/quote]

Holy hell, I am you. Every aspect of your story.  I wonder if this is what OP is asking about?  This state of being?

Because I'm so very good at the quick and transient empathy thing, and it's genuine too, people don't realize that I never go behind that.  The quick initial warmth is distracting[/quote]

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