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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know what you mean, OP. I am also Asian (Korean) and my mother who is local, has tons of money, and is retired, has never volunteered to do anything with the kids on her own. She is busy with her own life, I suppose. But, when she expresses jealousy over why my kids go crazy for my MIL (who happens to be white), I am just in disbelief at her lack of self-awareness and self-absorbtion.

FWIW, she was not a great mother--e.g., I didn't do extra-curriculars when I was in school because neither of my parents could be bothered to take me to practices; and I never got to hang out with friends outside of school because they wouldn't drive me to the mall or give me money for the movies, etc. This even continued into my adulthood--when I was on bedrest with DS #2, she visited me in the hospital, but didn't bother to help with DS #1 at home.

My kids are now 13 and 11. It's sad, but she's not close to the grandkids and has no desire to be. [/quote]

Yes! Exactly this.  Especially the part over the confusion why our kids love to see and go to my in-laws, but are never excited to see my parents. I've overheard them talking at holiday gatherings over their puzzlement over how our kids go up to my in-laws and talk/play with them, but aren't the same way with my parents. [/quote]

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