Reply to Three months after I discover he cheated and this is what he says

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]3 years for me. I'm not over it-never will be. Forgave him long ago. Will never forget, though. Trust is long gone. Love disappeared. We exist because of our kids. Something triggered it last week-a comment an innocent comment made by a friend. I reminded DH that I will snap the rug out from under him when he least expects it. He seemed shocked-it's been 3 years. I told him I'd forgiven him long ago, but I do want him to feel similar pain; then he'll understand what he did to me. 
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Revenge affair? [/quote]

Perhaps. I just know that he should feel similar pain. It's not about hate-I don't hate him. It's not about forgiveness-I've forgiven him. He's tried to make it back to normal. But you can't go back-you need to move forward. I've moved forward, but I can't forget nor can I numb the pain. [/quote]

You need to look up the definition of forgive. It doesn't mean what you think it means. I'm not saying I disagree with you that he should feel the pain you felt, but I am not the one professing to have forgiven him. I'd feel the same way in your shoes (revenge) but I would not be able to honestly say I'd forgiven him.

OP: clearly he was a jerk and the honus is on him to earn your trust back, but it's been 3 months. I don't think the question is that far out of line. It's not like it happened 3 days ago. You should just tell him you're working on it but it'll take longer than 3 months. I wouldn't get too upset over him simply asking. But if it's constant then he needs to back off.

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