Reply to Three months after I discover he cheated and this is what he says

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Forgiveness takes a long time.  He didn't just forget your birthday, he betrayed you and betrayed his wedding vows.  He needs to understand this.

You need counselling and, ultimately, decide if you are better off with, or without, him.  Men frequently say, "It meant nothing," but it meant a Hell of a lot to the woman who has been betrayed.   I wish you the best.[/quote]

OP here. I'm very resistant to the idea of divorcing because we have young children. I'm willing to "stick it out" for their sake - I know this is an unpopular approach on DCUM, but it's true. I'm doing my best to focus on myself, on self-care and doing things that make me happy. The relationship is kind of on the back burner for me at the moment - if I start thinking about it too much I just get so upset. It's so much more difficult than I could have imagined. [/quote]

I think that is admirable.  I know these types of threads turn into raging infernos, but just to take it down a notch: you have every right to still feel hurt and angry.  He also has a right to want you to move on; it's understandable.  Put another way, just because he caused this terrible situation doesn't mean he doesn't want it to end.  In fact, the worse he feels about it, the more he likely wants you to move on.  Imagine how horrible he'd be if he didn't care whether you moved on.  Anyway, just trying to give you a reason to look at this not like an insult, but as a normal human emotional situation.  In the end though, you do need to move on if you want to stay together (for the kids or for any other reason).[/quote]

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