Reply to Infertility and my crumbling marriage

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[quote=Anonymous]Just had a few thoughts I would share, OP.

1. I am really, really sorry you are going through this right now.

2. You are not alone-infertility is a huge stressor and very hard on relationships. I have a friend who is in the process of divorcing now-he and his soon to be ex wife went through many years of infertility and it ultimately contributed to the end of their marriage. Both are good people and no one was to blame-infertility revealed cracks in their marriage and differences they had between them.

3. Before you spend any more money on fertility treatments, get some individual and marital counseling to see if you can salvage the marriage.

4. It's okay if you decide you are done with fertility treatments. I feel like there is so much pressure to try everything possible...you can stop and it doesn't mean that you "didn't try hard enough." Everyone has their limits.

5. If your marriage ends, you will be okay. If after counseling and making a concerted effort, things have not changed it's better to get out rather than continue to be miserable for years and years.

6. Your husband waited into his 50's to try to be a father. If this was a life long goal, I am surprised he didn't get married and try to start a family earlier. Maybe this is part of a midlife crisis....regretting earlier decisions and wanting to travel another road before it's too late. He has lived many adult years without a child and I would guess most of them have been happy years. Maybe he is panicking because he is getting older and realizing that time is limited. [/quote]

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