Reply to DWs: how did you get back that loving feeling?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just feel like, so often, if the wife's desire isn't there, it's much easier for her to simply ignore or discount the things the husband does. She's not oriented toward him. She doesn't pay attention to him unless he actively intrudes on her attention - say, by trying to have sex with her.

Because she hasn't noticed the other stuff, in her mind, he only ever interacts with her when he's trying to have sex. Because she hasn't noticed the other stuff, he's not doing his share. Etc. But, if she's hot for him, she'll notice everything he does.

(When she ignores him and puts off sex, eventually, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy - he will stop wanting to bother with doing stuff for her benefit.)

I'm not saying that this is the only way the disconnect starts; often enough, I'm sure the guy stops or never did his part. [/quote]

WOW THIS WAS ME. I did my best to help out, DW is SAHM but with two young DCs at home didn't have time. I was up at night feeding them so she could sleep. first thing in the morning on Saturday I would wash the floors. I would take care of the baby before she woke up, many times making me late for work. She just never noticed, I would try to do more and if she didn't notice and there was still no intimacy I slowly stopped doing the extras and she would say "see I knew you only did it for sex"

It did change eventually[/quote]

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