Reply to Infertility and my crumbling marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When a woman is emotionally devastated, she expects to share her feelings and "spread her pain around".

When a man is emotionally devastated, he is expected to shut up, keep a lid on his feelings, and not spread his pain around.

Got it.
[/quote]

I don't expect him to keep a lid on his feelings, but I do expect him to be an adult; to identify his feelings correctly and direct them appropriately and fairly. [/quote]

Is he great in every other way?  If you were with another man who was great (and had more money and was pro-adoption) would you want to adopt?  Might your sister not like your husband or think he'd be a bad dad?  (My sister dislikes my husband b/c she sees all the flaws that my love for him masked.  She would never give us eggs, though she loves me very much).

Therapy for him for grief.  I'm not religious, but I feel like some churches/nonprofits might offer grief counseling for free/less.

Big hugs to you both. [/quote]

He is wonderful in some ways - honest, loyal, hard-working, pulls his weight around the house - but not in others - bad temper, selfish lover, self-righteous sometimes, a bit stuck-up. Of course, he thinks he's the nicest guy on earth. We also have disagreements about money. He's not really earning much right now, yet still wants to take nice vacations. We do use miles and hotel points whenever possible, but I would rather save. It's a sticking point for us. I think I'm feeling resentful that I'm not really able to save any of my (very modest) salary while he's going through a financial dry spell. I worry that having a child - even if we didn't have to spend $40K to do it - will squeeze us completely dry. I don't see how we can afford to raise a kid.[/quote]

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