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[quote=Anonymous]OP again. While I really appreciate the responses and has been helpful as I try to figure out what to do, there are a few suggestions that are just not practical.

When your kid is a legal adult and living in another state, "letting" her do something or "making" her do something is not an option. While we could threaten to stop funding her education unless she does as we tell her, that would do nothing but have her feel controlled or result in her stop telling us the truth of what is going on.

As I mentioned in a previous post, parents are not involved because they live in another continent and because roommate has refused to let them know what is going on. While DD could try to talk her into involving them, roommate refuses. I don't know who they are, they are not on Facebook (I tried to find them there), and even if I could locate them, I would worry that -- not knowing their culture or their family issues -- whether it would make things worse.

As far as the school, they ARE passing the buck. I have now talked with three different administrators (counseling services, residential housing, and one of the deans). Because this girl is in the hospital -- her emergency hold has now turned into an intensive in-patient stay -- they are not doing a single thing. All they tell me is that I need to tell my daughter to set boundaries, which of course I do. I have told them that my daughter, knowing that her roommate has no one in her life, knowing that her roommate is in a really bad place, has found it impossible to ignore her. I am begging them to step into the situation to relieve my daughter of this enormous responsibility.

DD think she will be released next week, and to my knowledge, the school is not equipped with any transition plan.

I will continue to call the school. To me, there lack of responsiveness has put my daughter in an impossible situation -- either she cuts the roommate off and feels horrible guilty for doing so, or she becomes her primary mental caregiver.[/quote]

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