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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you cut off these emotions with your husband and still be able to respond deeply with other people? [/quote]

Good question. In my case I found that my relationships with my children, friends and other family members has gotten much deeper.  I have an emotional energy that I didn't have before, as well as much less anger.  Maybe that's what did it, losing the anger gave me the energy to love more deeply.  I'm just giving that love to people who can reciprocate it.[/quote]

OP here. I agree with this. I also think a strange side effect is that my husband actually gives way more of a crap than I do about things. I think pulling back and not caring whether or not he was happy and focusing on my own contentment (and that is definitely the right word. I'm content) made a huge shift in the energy in my house. I wasn't focused on whether he would like an outing, or a vacation, or something I wanted to do. It was enough that it was important to me and if he didn't want to go, then I was happy to go by myself. I think a big part of it is that women are socialized to make men happy. I kind of took that and flipped it on its head. I don't think anyone can make anyone happy. We can enjoy people. We can love people. But we can't make them feel a certain way or make them do anything. It's freeing. I wasn't a jerk about it. Like I said, I am very fond of my husband. I enjoy our life together.[/quote]

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