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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He definitely has wine with dinner, but I think the reason I am noticing more is because he seems to think I dont know he is drinking the vodka. He is definitely hiding it. 
I took a sip of his iced tea last night and almost choked. He took it, drank the whole thing down and sat down as if nothing happened. 
I tried to act cool and asked him about it, he said he was in the mood for it and ended discussion. 
If I ask too many questions he gets angry and defensive.[/quote]

If he's hiding it, he has a problem. He does [i]not[/i] have to be falling-down drunk to be a problem drinker.

The family history of alcoholism[i] alone[/i] would be a red flag.

The hiding of alcohol in other drinks [i]alone[/i] would be a red flag.

The anger and defensiveness about any questions[i] alone [/i]would be a red flag.

You now have a whole forest of waving red flags here. It is time to intervene, OP. Please, please get yourself to Al-Anon (not Alcoholics Anonymous, which is for the alcoholic himself or herself, but Al-Anon, which is for family and friends of alcoholics). People at Al-Anon have been where you are as the spouse, and can help you work out how to intervene, how to approach him, how to protect yourself if he is not willing to recognize the problem and get help. Please do not wait to get started. You almost certainly can find an Al-Anon meeting in your area this weekend, even tonight.
Please update us here.

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