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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I have a history of depression, have been through therapy, am on anti-depressants. But my relationship is super shitty about, oh, 50-70% of the time, let's say. We have a daughter, so leaving is fraught, as is the fact that we aren't married yet. We have an October date. I just feel so low. What's worse for my kid, a broken home and a lifetime of split parents and only seeing her half the time, or a mom who died that she won't remember? She's only 2. I love her more than anything, but I really hate myself. For getting here, for doing this to her, for sinking so low. I don't know what to do.[/quote]

I really couldn't relate to depression at all until I was in your shoes when my DD was in uterine and a baby. I felt like I was stuck with shitty choices to make and was going to ruin her life. Marrying my ex was the most depressing thought because I left him only to find out I was pregnant and came back because I thought it was the right thing to do. I spent a lot of days on maternity leave crying while holding our child and feeling like I failed her. I was being pressured into marriage by family and I'm so glad I didn't cave. I left when she was 7 months and I won't lie...the following year was pretty terrible. Hitting rock bottom was the best thing to ever happen to me at that time. After having my name and character were dragged through the mud, I stopped living for approval. And I started taking chances that I never would have with him. The past few years have been pretty incredible. We truly live a life many people dream about.

Please see your doctor and try a different medication and try and find something to look forward to each day. I fortunately met a girlfriend at this time who was going through something similar (abandoned by husband with 2 kids under 2) and she worked out every morning and was incredible shape. She inspired me to get in shape. Once I snapped back, I felt a ton better. I will pray for you. Depression makes it really tough to see things clearly when you're in the thick of it.[/quote]

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