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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I can relate to this, as I have been in a similar place ; in my case I was forced into a nasty divorce 10 years ago which has in many ways ruined my life and all but destroyed my bond with my kids. Often it seems death would be better, at least they can mourn and move on rather than the endless pain. But it doesn't mean you truly want to die, you just feel you have no more strength or will to go on.

I think in some ways you might be underestimating your kid's ability to adjust and survive. You might be putting too much weight of responsibility on yourself. It's not on you to keep the family together if your partner isnt doing his bit.  As bad as your fiance  is, if he doesn't abuse your child, it's ok to let go even if he gets 50% custody. You can still cherish and enjoy your time with the child.  Many people's most wonderful childhood memories are summers at grandma or times with a beloved relative they saw only a few tines a year. You can create this too. My kids have only spent a total of 10% of their life with me but I do all I can to stuff in the love and happy times. They are thriving even as they live with my ex who gas been cruel and hateful to me. That's ultimately all that matters.

Also think of your own life. The 50% alone time can be rest and opportunity to pursue your own interests. Never discount your own self, and your kid will be gappy to see you enjoying and building up your individual life.

Best wishes[/quote]

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