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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like most of the posters are women.

As a guy, here is my perspective.  You are only obligated to respond and give the level of friendship that you want.  However, many guys in similar situations will be open to and try to encourage the friendship to keep progressing forward.  I understand that you are interested in maintaining the status quo (same situation as a lot of guys) but he isn't.  Do not just ignore all texts completely and especially not the ones that express concern for you.  That sends the message that you are not interested in a developing relationship AND you are not interested in maintaining friendship at the current level and will likely create that awkward work situation you are trying to avoid.

So here is my suggestion on what to do.  Reply as often as you want to maintain the current friendship.  If you get a "Are you okay?" text, reply "I'm fine.  Just busy."  That's all.  If he presses you respond "I'm find.  I'll respond when I have time."  and leave it at that.  If you respond when you have the time, but not others, it sends the message that you are interested in being friends, just not closer friends.  You always respond when he escalates, because friends, even platonic ones, can get concerned for each other.  But you only respond enough to answer his concern and no more.   He isn't entitled to more than "I"m fine."  This sets the level and boundaries that you want but doesn't send the wrong suggestion that you want less friendship than you currently have. [/quote]

NP- I think this is the best answer so far. But the one problem I have is the fact that he keeps inquiring if she is okay. With my friends we'll wait for at least a week of no responses before asking if something is wrong. And if we see FB activity, we might not say anything and just assume they are busy. I think that aspect needs to be addressed in person "hey Larlo, I just wanted to let you know that if I don't respond, it's because I'm busy. No need to check up on me. I'll get back to you when I can." [/quote]

The problem is that if on slow days, they text a lot, but on busy days, she goes all quiet, then he probably hasn't processed what's different and he asks if she's okay.  He won't know that yesterday, her computer was down and she texted a lot with him while waiting for the IT guy to stop by but today, she's got 3 deadlines and can't just chit chat all day.  Or that yesterday a friend canceled on a movie date, but today, she's meeting an out-of-town friend and picking them up from the airport and going to a girls night out.  He just knows that yesterday she was answering and today she's not.  She doesn't owe him an explanation, just a quick response that she's okay, not to worry.  Hopefully after he sees a pattern of these responses several times, the amount of time he goes between radio silence and him asking if she's okay will get longer.  If not, then it might be appropriate to have the little talk with him.[/quote]

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