Reply to Need sdvice for this situation with my mom and sister

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I sent the email and we have not talked since. This was almost 4 months ago. I am so sad and hurt. When I told my parents, my mom and dad were both very touched and grateful that I did this. My mom said she was going to speak to her as well about what is going and that is overdue and that by both of us talking to her, maybe it would sink in as to why she would treat us like this. Every time I asked my mom if she did she said no, one time saying "because she talked the whole time on the phone" and I didn't get a chance and then finally the lat time I asked she said she wasn't going to that it wasn't worth the confrontation.

I was so upset and hurt. I put myself out there for my parents and more than had their back....and have now lost my relationship with my sister. And my mom wants to keep the peace between someone who has treated her like total crap??? I feel like she is choosing keeping an amicable relationship with the one who does nothing for her over the wonderful relationship she has with the daughter that calls everyday and to my credit am overly thoughtful. I am just so hurt over this. I feel like I went out of my way to call this for what it is, my sister neglecting my elderly parents....and I am the one paying the ultimate price.

Please if you can shed some light or help me with how to do deal with this delicate situation and how do you see it based upon the limited information I have provided- really struggling with this and really hoping for some clarity....thank you.[/quote]

14:54 here. OP, I just reread this and want to add that really you should be upset and hurt by your mother. This is going to sound harsh, but it needs to be said. You put yourself out there after you mom got you all riled up and offended and upset. You took action rather than just bitching. Your mom continues to do nothing other than bitch to you about your sister. And your mom is "touched" that you stood up for her? What kind of manipulative passive aggressive mother is this? Your sister is not bullying your mother. She is being inconsiderate. Your mother is shamelessly hurting your relationship with your sister in order to play the victim. Either she acts like an adult and a parent and talks to your sister about why she's upset, or she should shut up about it. You need to be aware of the fact that you are impressionable, that your mom's feelings and emotions change the way you perceive things and react to things, often in unfair ways. You need some distance from her.[/quote]

All of this!

I suspect OP is so used to playing the part of the good daughter to her sister who is cast as a villain she doesn't even see it. OP's mother knows very well what she's doing. I highly suspect OP's sister would give a very different  story if given the opportunity.
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