Reply to Why do men allow themselves to be jerked around?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just ranting cause I am so mad. Have male friend with son that is dating girl that lives 4 hours away with a child. They met online and he goes back and forth every other weekend to visit her. 4 hours up and 4 hours back. He had a really bad week with his son being sick him having to have serious dental work done and having to give up vacation out west due to hospitalization. 10:30 at night I get call to come up an hour away to be with him and son at hospital ER while he is worked up. I have had to my eye appointments for him when he had some sort of goop falling out of his eyes and this is after spending a weekend with her(who by the way is trying to get into nursing school). She couldn't even figure out to get him to an Urgent Care while he was there. Now I am making follow up appointments for son. She doesn't work, she isn't in school...where is this cow? Why isn't she down here tending to a man she claims to love. Am I wrong but isn't that what you do for the people you love? You come and help them in a time of crisis? She comes down to visit only when things are just perfect, she strings him along by saying "I love you" and things like that but she doesn't show up when needed. I am starting to get pissed at him for being so gullible. She is walking up on 40, has a child , no career skills, and just now trying to get into nursing school and can't pass the damn math test to get in. He is willing to have her come and live in his home and get through school and support her and she can't show up during a week of crisis. Can't figure out to make appointments to follow up, nothing.

Am I crazy or is he being jerked around by this chick...I am now done ranting[/quote]

OP, the guy needs to figure out that there are plenty of young, attractive women in this area who do not have kids. He sounds desperate and needy. He needs to pull the plug but you can't tell him that, he has to realize it himself. Possibly after incurring a whole lot of pain.[/quote]

[b]I don't want him to pull the plug on this. She needs a bit of a hero and he needs a bit of a damsel in distress. In theory they work for each other. He just needs to step up and ask for what he needs instead of just giving and giving and giving[/b].[/quote]

If this is the case, then the relationship is doomed anyway. People aren't set roles over the long term, and this kind of need in each other either turns into dysfunction long term, or burns out in flames when they don't need each other in that capacity anymore. Already this relationship sounds really unhealthy - a "big sister" should help him see that. [/quote]

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