Reply to How do I get my husband to take on more responsibility (older kids)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our oldest needs braces, and my husband balked at the cost of the first orthodontist we saw. I told him fine, that was on him to do this summer -- get some other opinions, figure it out, etc. Not a thing has been done, and it will not be done unless I do it (and pay for it myself, separate finances are another wrinkle in this story.)

And yeah, I get that the list isn't incredibly awful (there's more than I wrote here, but obviously none of it is back breaking.) But I just want to be able to avoid being the sole person responsible for every single thing in life. [/quote]

He has to pay half of braces. He has until (reasonable) date to get some other opinions, but if he doesn't have other opinions or a plan by (reasonable) date, you are comfortable with the information you have and will be moving forward with it.

It may mean a fight. But he doesn't get to be all passive aggressive about this. They're his kids too. And if he can't or won't try and figure out a path he's happier with, then he gets to deal with the path that you've found.

You may have to do this with many things on the list, but sometimes that's how it is. E.g. it may cost more to order all the school supplies online. If he is not willing to take the kids shopping, then that's how it will be and he needs to pony up his share of the expense.

Additionally, if finances are split entirely, consider charging him for the planning/executing stage. He's getting you doing all the research and the work for free. No wonder he feels free to complain. It costs him nothing to force you to do more legwork.[/quote]

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