Reply to What would your relationship with your MIL be like if she treated you as an equal and an adult?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The other half of this is, what would your relationship with your MIL be like if you treated her like an equal adult, for example, didn't respond to what might be a random comment with the feelings of a child who's being criticized by a parent.

Also, if you allowed her her own subjectivity - took no more offense at her comments than you would if she were a same-age friend.[/quote]

NP here. In that case, if someone were a same-age friend who made upsetting comments to me, I probably wouldn't spend any time with them.

[b]Not like she can just cut her MIL out of her life. Most of us tolerate unbelievable behavior from relatives because we're up against a wall. At times, the people we need to avoid are the ones we are stuck with seeing ALL, THE, TIME.[/b]

[/quote]

Why not? After 10 years of trying to make things work with MIL I realized she's not going to change so I have disengaged. DH and kids can go see her when they want, but she's not welcome in our home anymore and I have no desire to see her. [/quote]

Yes, amen to that! NP here also married for 10 years and still venting about 10 day trip with ILs. I will never do that again. Imagine going to Paris (not where we went but close) and only going to the Louvre for 15 minutes since it's "too much walking". And this was a vacation location THEY chose. We could not leave our hotel before noon because according to my FIL, if we left earlier in day, we'd be tired by 4pm! And if we suggested taking separate trandportation then there would be an uproar as to the waste of money. But then you ask them for a ride and its grumpy faces. I would not go on vacation with friends who acted like children.[/quote]

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