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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm the earlier PP whose mom died last year and your further details really help explain your situation more fully.  Sounds like your husband is desperately trying to earn his father's love and appreciation before it is too late.  If you had any time to stop and breathe, this is clearly something he needs to work out in therapy b/c he's only going to be disappointed in not getting that final "gee, son, you're the best" from his dad.  It only makes it more sad for all of you because he's not treating you well right now.

I dunno.  My mom on her deathbed and I never snapped at my husband.  It struck me as really shitty that he is snapping at you like this.  What does "dying" mean?  Taking his last breaths?  If he has no insurance, how does DH know how sick he actually is?  I'm worried for you about how long this can drag on!

As for saving for DH's dad's funeral, I'm sorry but fuck that. And usage that ask done with destitute parents who paid for my dad's funeral and a bit of my mom's (luckily, she bought a term life policy after he died. My brother and I split the monthly cost, so the payout paid for a decent funeral.)

Your money has to be for the living.  If DH wants some sort of funeral for his dad with no money...why?  Trying to impress relatives with what a good son he was?  Talking care of his father, okay, that's just human decency.  But I say you for sure get a say in spending your family money on a funeral.

When my mom was dying, I was working full time, too, and I had a toddler.  I know how hard it is.  But that doesn't give him license to completely drop his responsibilities, especially if this may drag on for a long time.  But even if his behavior this week is not negotiable, by God the funeral had better be.  That is just not okay.[/quote]

Gramps is doing a real guilt job on your husband. I hope this end so because DH is blinded right no trying to be a kissass while neglecting his nuclear family.
Pls each get individual counseling and then couples counseling. [/quote]

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