Reply to New boyfriend, has a child he never sees.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband loves and wants to spend time with our child for his own sake, not just because he is married to me. Seeing a loving fatherly relationship, I would accept no less. OP, you don't have to either. You don't know how he would be if you have kids, but you do have one data point that isn't comforting, and you haven't been dating for that long.

I also find it very hard to believe that a man who has only visited his daughter ONCE a) sends $3500 a month and b) can make her believe that he'd be there for her if she needed him when he's not there any other time. But that's beside the point.[/quote]

The second part here is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm not sure about the $3500 as I have no clue how much child support is. But come on. Skypes twice a year. Never visits. There is NO WAY that kid thinks that he'll be there when she needs. There is no way that this kid feels loved and supported by her father.

He is a bad father. Point blank. I have 2 different friends that are fathers and their exwives moved far away. One is Maine and the other is Hawaii (so much harder to get to than California). Both arranged custody agreements where summers the kid comes out here. Both Skype and Facetime frequently. Both are very much involved in the decisions of the child's life. Those are anecdotal, sure. But it isn't impossible for him to have a relationship with his daughter. He chose not to, and that's the most disturbing thing.

I understand that you are smitten with this guy, but I would end it. I could never respect a man who doesn't try to forge a relationship with his child. [/quote]

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