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[quote=Anonymous]OP here-- wow this thread brings back memories.  First-- the school wasn't Georgetown Hill.  The director of his school and I decided he would leave Thanksgiving week.  She was actually very nice about it and explained that if she asked me to leave, I would be refunded my tuition but if I informed her I was leaving, then I was out of luck.

His original school was a very busy chaotic place.  He had tried another daycare that was in my corporate back up care plan and loved it. I enrolled him there and we all worked together.

I contacted Child Link who sent over a social worker once a week to help the teacher come up with strategies for him.  He was also evaluated by Child Find and qualified for PEP 5x/week.  That summer he turned 4, and I was able to get him into the JCC inclusion camp program where his 1:1 really worked with him.  Heather Strauss is amazing.  At the same time my daughter had been begging to go to sleep away camp.  She went and loved it so much she extended for the full summer.  That meant that my son had a 1:1 shadow at camp during the day and 2 parents solely focused on him at night and on the weekends.  Someone was always there to jump in if his behavior got out of control.  He was constantly corrected and there was a lot of consistency and structure.  It's amazing how easy parenting is when you're not worried about school or camp calling and there are 2 parents and 1 kid.  Both DH and I got to go out and recharge that summer.

I met with Dr. Venza from the Lourie Center and my son was put in the wait list for the following fall.  At the end of the school year, Dr. Venza met with the PEP coordinator and they both agreed that Lourie Center was too much support for him. Dr. Shapiro also agreed and we agreed to 1/2 day daycare plus PEP for his 4s.

The back up day care place was full time only.  Dr. Shapiro recommended that I adjust my schedule so that I could pick him up by 4pm each day.  I didn't drop off until 8:30 since I had to get DD to school first.  The PEP bus came at 12:15 and brought him back at 3:45.  Well, with the amount of money I was paying for speech testing, Dr. Shapiro, and social skills, paying for 7:30-6 daycare when I was only using about 4 hrs a day was just silly. I started looking for a half day program in the same school district as his PEP program.

I lucked out beyond belief. The lead teacher was an ex Lab school teacher who wanted more flexibility in order to be there for her kids.  There was also a full time assistant in the class.  Enrollment for the half day program was on the decline and there were 6 kids in his class.  The school and the teachers continued to work with him on behaviors.  The hitting, butting, and kicking had stopped by the end of the 3s but it was replaced by epic tantrums.  Inconsolable, hours long tantrums.

The summer between 4 and 5, he returned to the inclusion program at the JCC.  One day after pick up, he said to me, I'm missing out on all the fun at camp.  I have to go with my counselor when I don't behave.  I don't know why I can't stop but I wish I could.

The next day I made an appt for a full neuropsych.  From reading this forum, I had a pretty good idea of what the dx was going to be.  We got in for testing in late July and the ADHD dx at the end of Aug.

At the of his 4s, he was academically tested in PEP.  He scored in the 99th percentile on all his academic tests so MCPS ended his IEP before going into K.  I knew a class of 28 5 year olds and 1 teacher would be a disaster for him so I looked to private.

Once I got the ADHD dx, I contacted the private schools learning specialist.  Together with the psych, we all agreed to let him try school for 2 months with no medication.  It was not good.  It was a long day with a lot of rules and transitions.

In Oct we medicated him.  At our parent teacher conference, the teachers commented that it was like having a new kid in the class-- helpful, social, able to transition, and he was listening.  Academically he flourished and he was proud of his accomplishments. I cried at the end of school performance when he stood on stage with the entire grade and sang.  He didn't push anyone or wander out of place.  He did the choreography beautifully.  The noise of the the rest of the school in the auditorium didn't bother him.

This summer he went back to the JCC but not in the inclusion program.  There were a few bumps but nothing aggregious--mostly that he didn't want to swim during free swim.  I told them to let him sit under a tree.

He still has tantrums but I can reason with him now.  If you were to hear me talking to him during a tantrum, I would be the subject of the "I can't believe I heard a mother taking to her kid like that" threads.  But that's what he needs.  He throws the tantrum for attention.  What's wrong? How can we fix this? What do you need? Tell me what's wrong? Doesn't work for him.  Knock this off now or go to your room ( or the car) because no one wants to hear you screaming makes him stop.  Once he stops, he can tell me the problem.  Yesterday it was because the other kids were bothering him.  How were they bothering you, I asked.  They looked at me was his response. :)

So you can see we are not out if the woods yet but we've come along way.  Sometimes I'm angry that I couldn't at least try the ADHD meds when he was 3 but I get it--no dr is going to dx a 3 yr old with ADHD.  For him though , the meds have been life changing-- for the entire family. We no longer have to take 2 cars in fear that someone will have to take him home.  I take both kids on vacation by myself -- to the beach, great wolf lodge, skiing. It's all pretty manageable now.

The SN board remains my go to resource.  Everyone is so kind and helpful and I know our family couldn't have come this far without all of you. Thank you.

Here's to the start of a great first grade year!
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