Reply to Fear of Sibling Rivalry is Stopping Us from having Kid #2

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Reply to "Fear of Sibling Rivalry is Stopping Us from having Kid #2"

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[quote=Anonymous]It's all about how you manage things as a parent.

Don't pit the kids against each other by comparing them or assigning them roles. Never "Oh little Larry is the sensitive one and Plectanthra is the greedy one." 
Don't play favorites.
Conversely, don't treat them as clones who have to have identical treatment without regard to their personalities and preferences. 
When they have an argument, don't jump in the middle. Hang back and tell them they need to learn to sort it out between themselves. (And then have an eye on them to see that no one is getting mistreated.)
Teach them they're on the same team and need to have each others' backs.

Rivalry is about clamoring for approval and attention from someone. It's based on comparison. Kids will always feel a little, because they have a strong sense about unfairness and fairness, and of course want parents' attention. But you can minimize it. None of my kids fight, ever. I know exactly what not to do because I was raised by parents who did all the wrong things, creating rivalry between my brother and me so that we fought constantly. Left to ourselves, we got along and still get along great. [/quote]

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