Reply to Relationships between grandparents and SN kids- quick poll

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Reply to "Relationships between grandparents and SN kids- quick poll"

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[quote=Anonymous]There are people who don't want imperfection in their world.  Many upper middle class families (and I'm generalizing) also believe, and have been brought up to believe and are constantly imparting a message to their own children that consists in so many words of constant striving and competition, and "Life is what you make it...strive for your goals and you will meet them...you can overcome all obstacles."  The disabled/special needs child presents a conundrum and paradigm because this child doesn't fit the paradigm.  The disability can't be strived away (it's lifelong) and the special needs child fails as some sort of "inspiration porn" for the NT child.  Unless the special needs child can be forced into the role of some sort of family mascot, there is no role for the special needs child.  He/she has to be pushed out cognitively.

Note also the pressure on the parents, who are constantly given the message (despite total lack of actual evidence) that their marriage is bound to fail due to the special needs child, and that it's not fair to the siblings that the special needs child gets so much attention.

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