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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband is constantly frustrated with me over things that to me, really aren't that big of a deal. For example, this all occurred on the past 12 hours:

[b]-He was watching the news while I was reading. He said something in regards to what was on the news; I didn't hear him and asked him to repeat himself. He huffily replied "never mind" and turned back to the TV. He was visibly irritated, and often if I don't hear him he'll chastise me for not hearing it the first time. Apparently I am supposed to spend my entire day staring at him with bated breath waiting for waiting for all these pearls of wisdom to come forth from his lips. [/b]

-While feeding and changing our baby I said "stop" to her a couple times (not in a mean way or in a way trying to get her to actually stop. Just in a sing-songy, goofy way when she was kicking her legs around while I was trying to change her and then while I was trying to feed her). He asked why I was saying stop and I replied "which time?". He then lectured me- again very irritated- that any normal person would have understood he meant the last time I said it, not the first. Any time I ask for clarification he gets upset with me for not understanding. When I said I don't like the way he was talking to me he just replied "well I don't like the way you have to ask questions to answer my questions". He says by asking further questions, I am verbally abusing him.

-He didn't like the way I did something. I can't even remember what it was because this happens constantly; he doesn't like the way I load the dishwasher, fold up used diapers, park my car, etc. So he's constantly asking "why would you even do it that way? You're being lazy. You should do it this way. I've put a lot of thought into it and this is the best way to do it". He is very into efficiency, doing things the "right" way, and not being lazy. It's pretty clear to me he also has some OCD and will get upset if I don't want to do something his way, or that I can't read his mind and inherently know how things should be done.

All this stuff happens CONSTANTLY. It's pretty clear to me I'm not what he wants and a lot of his frustration is because of that. He won't admit it, but I can tell he would prefer to be with someone who has a more prestigious career and a different lifestyle than I do.

I'm at the point where I just don't give a crap about him anymore. I avoid talking to him as much as possible and look forward to when he goes out of town for work (which is frequently, thank god). Zero interest in sex with him and I'm pretty sure he has little interest in sex with me. But if I mention that we are both unhappy and maybe aren't right for each other, he gets very emotional and says he doesn't want to split up, which I do believe is sincere. We tried counseling for awhile which helped some but we haven't been back since our baby was born.

My current plan is to start building a life without him- new job that pays well, developing new friendships and interests, spending more time away from him- and to start getting my ducks in a row to leave. Which makes me incredibly sad since I grew up with divorced parents and I don't want that for my child. But I don't know what else to do at this point.

[/quote]

I get pissed about things like this because my husband NEVER, EVER listens to anything I say.  He'll come home from work and ask, "What did you do with the kids today?"  And I'll respond that we went to the pool with the neighbor.  Later on I'll mention something that neighbor's kid did at the pool, and he'll say, "Oh, you went to the pool today?"  He also prioritizes electronic communication over anything I say.  I'm in the middle of talking, and his phone beeps, he pulls it out and starts reading.  These things wouldnt bother me if they were occasional, but they are habitual.  Just thought I'd mention this in case this is part of the dynamic that created your husband's response.[/quote]

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