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[quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced shortly before I got engaged in my late 20's. My mom had an emotional affair with my dad's business partner (who was also married) and we all suspected there was something much more. She left my dad for the guy and my poor dad's business dissolved. Everyone went broke in the process. The crazy thing is the boyfriend still lived with his wife for a few years while also with my mother. He was still living with his wife when we had our wedding. I adamantly did not want him to come as I thought the situation was so messed up.

Fast forward -- we ended up having a longish engagement and my dad remarried with lightening speed. I did eventually decide to invite my mom's boyfriend to the wedding as it was important to me to have my mom there... And she needed to have him with her. I did warn all involved - many times - that any BS would not be tolerated. So what happened?  The day was beautiful, everyone behaved, and I was happy to have both of my parents there, despite the emotional turmoil we'd all gone through.

That was 10 years ago and my mom is now married to that man. Both of my parents are much happier in their lives. That man I once couldn't stand is now a solid member of our family. We're even able to all get together for the holidays and kids' birthdays (it did take a few years). He has been nothing but kind and our children consider him like a grandfather. Basically, my issues were with my mom, not him. One I realized that, and the fact that he wasn't going away, I decided to welcome him into our lives. It helped a lot that at his core he's a nice guy. But it still wasn't easy. And my mom and I still have some grudges and hurts from back then. But I'm really glad I didn't hold my ground with the wedding.

In my situation, it certainly helped that my father had moved on in his life by the time of the wedding. Your situation is of course different and only you know what is best for you. But you're at the start of a new stage of life. And a line in the sand now may have repercussions down the road that may be hard to come back from. Just my two cents. [/quote]

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