Reply to Making the choice to stay after an EA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: Not to rehash everything, but I didn't once complain about DH to my EA partner. Also, the reason I wrote here is not to figure out what to do to to make amends to DH- I know what I need to do in that sphere. I am remorseful and he knows that. I also freely acknowledge that I did something wrong and I do not blame him for it. We're in counseling. The reason I wrote here is because I am human and while, yes, I did do something wrong, I am not alone in what led to that, even though I do own the actions. And, because I am human I miss my EA partner who was a friend. I am hoping that there is someone else out there who can say "I've been there and this gets easier. Here is what helped me and my family." [/quote]

You are not remorseful (except probably in the sense of regretting you got caught), you do not know what to do to make amends, and you are not owning your actions.

If you were remorseful, and if you were owning your actions, [b]you would not be here saying you pine for your EA partner and you would not be asking internet strangers for sympathy and validation[/b].

If you knew what to do to make amends, you would know that [b]you have to FORGET your EA partner, put him 100% behind you mentally, stop wallowing in self-pity, and focus on your spouse[/b]. Then you have to prove to your spouse that you did that, and prove that the mindset that led you to have an EA has changed.

You are a dishonest person with a vast sense of entitlement and it would serve you right if your DH realized this and divorced you.[/quote]

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