Reply to Cousin disrespected wishes, put my family in terrible position

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm just wondering how you expected the cousin to lie to your mom, not tell her where they are for a week, etc.

Maybe because I'm in an estranged family situation myself, but I'm not going to lie to one family member because someone else asks me to.

Obviously she should have told you (like I do), "no, I can't keep my vacation a secret. I talk to Aunt Jenni a lot, and we share a lot of pictures, I'm just not comfortable lying about my whereabouts for a week and having the kids lie too. I'm sorry"

If they are FB friends and have kids that talk too,  and hang out, it's really not likely without lying. I always ask in small talk "so are you going anywhere this summer?" Or "have you been to the beach", and from my perspective just wouldn't be able to lie like that.

I'm sorry OP, it sounds like you can't hang out with this group if it needs to be secret.
You have my empathy![/quote]

^^ This is a perfect example of the cousin. She thinks that SHE should be the one to determine your relationship with your mother and enables her in the name of "its more convenient for me-- I wont lie for you! so there! " OP you have my sympathy -- there is always one member of the family who will pretend that your mother is not being unreasonable.[/quote]

You really think it's reasonable to ask an entire group of people for their one and only summer vacation to not tell anyone and avoid posting any pictures, at all, anywhere?

It's not being mean, it's a horrible situation for OP, but one that was bound to fail. Word definitely would have gotten back somehow, I'm just glad OP found out before she got there and can make other plans.
A group vacation is not easy to hide![/quote]

Per OP, it wasn't asking an entire group of people, it was asking the ONLY cousin still in contact with her mom to not tell her mom where they were.  And it's not that you can't EVER post photos, it's holding off until after the vacation is done or OP and her family are on their way.  Instead OPs cousin gave OPs mom advanced notice when and where the vacation would be occurring just because.

Having taken plenty of vacations where there were social media embargos for various reasons (abusive exes, people that just don't want photos posted that could be inappropriate for those in politics to have out there) it isn't a burden at all to honor those requests.  But sure, prioritize your insta likes over the safety and wellbeing of your family members...[/quote]

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