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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,
The bottom line seems to be that your niece has made this decision, regardless, and now will have to decide if she wants to take loans out and use the $100k to pay them back, or pay as she goes. I hope the other aunt in charge is wise enough to not allow the niece to use the money to buy a fancy car or take vacations. However, that ball is not in your court.

The only thing you can do is
1. Review the FAFSA form with her and make sure she gets the financial aid she is entitled to
2. Show her how much of the $100k she will have after 4 years of college, point out room, board, books and then compare it with that same amount after 4 years broken down into monthly payments, and a sample budget for, say, a $50k/year job. Get into a discussion about entertainment money, a car or transportation, and lay out some numbers for her. Talk about getting a job, will she pay you for food, etc. It seems like no one has had this discussion with her 
3. This is the hard one: you have to let her decide. But SE number 2 above, you will have given her facts.
After that, she is no different than the millions of students drowning in student loan debt and little income if she doesn't choose a major wisely and blows money either way.
Judging from the fact that she is insisting on this college and didn't even apply to any cheaper schools BEFORE she knew about the money, you have an uphill battle. But perhaps you can do a really good job spelling out how much money different careers make, look into what it actually takes to get into medical school, alternate career paths, and what crushing student loan debt looks like. [/quote]

OP Here.  Thanks for this.  For those that remarked that I gave niece bad advice. I told her this was a bad idea, but her mind was made up and I don't argue with children (or adults).  I don't understand what you all think I could have done?  I couldn't make her choose community college or an instate school.  It's her money!  As much as I want to act as a parent and make this decision for her, I could not.  I honestly think she choose this school was in order to be closer to my family.  Even though she lived about 4 hours from me while in high school, we spoke almost daily and she visited me on all all school holidays and breaks.  She is not close to money holder aunt or anyone from her deceased mom's family.  The initial problem was this, her father due to his job loss, was only staying in place A until niece graduated from high school.  As soon as she graduated, he moved with (along with another child) back to our home state.  So niece didn't want to apply at any schools in place A because dad and sibling would be moving 1000 miles away.  So even if she followed them, she be paying OOS tuition.  She would be completely alone if she stayed where she was.  I understand why she didn't want that.  I didn't even know she applied to the school in my state until she was accepted. Other than being stubborn, she has a very good head on her shoulders.  I don't think she will use this money for anything except school needs.

As you said above, the ball has never been in my court on any of this.  I am only trying to advise her and make suggestions.  She is 18 years old makes her own decisions.  She has a job, my brother plans on buying her a car next summer after freshman year.   I'm trying to lay out options now that we have landed here.[/quote]

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