Reply to Fiance oblivious to his son's issues

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Fiance oblivious to his son's issues"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Many PP seem to think it is inappropriate for a step-parent (like OP) to be raising these issues.  Not sure how that is relevant to offering a solution/advice that is helpful to the child - your reply should be the same is OP were a grandparent or uncle/aunt to this child.  I hope PPs wouldn't tell them to abandon their grandchild/niece/nephew, or tell them that because they aren't a "parent" they don't have the standing to raise any concerns about a child in their lives.

A child benefits when the people who love them are looking out for them.  Obviously only the parents/guardians get to make the decisions, but OP shouldn't get criticized for raising her concerns.

OP, I sympathize with your position.  Being a step-parent is tough, as you care deeply for your stepchild, but have no additional influence over how they are raised other than being a positive presence in their life.

That's actually my advice to you - do your best to influence your fiance to get the help your future stepchild needs, understanding (and I mean really, truly understanding) that you might never be able to do anything about the situation and that your fiance never really has to listen to you about his child.  He may never agree with or act on any of your concerns, and there is nothing you can do about it.

You need to be honest with yourself about your tolerance for that dynamic, and how it can negatively influence your relationship with your fiance, his child, and the child's mother.  If this limitation within your new family is a deal-breaker for you, even if you love your fiance and his child, you should reconsider being in the relationship.  If you can accept it, and focus on the fact that you love your future step-child even if you can't do anything for him other than occasionally talk, you have a much better chance of creating a happy family environment.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics