Reply to Fiance oblivious to his son's issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all the other replies but I don't agree with the post about you just not liking this kid. Sounds like he has real issues and no one is doing anything about it.

Before you even attempt to marry this guy, make sure he comes to grips with all this and deals with it. Just how do you suppose he'll be with your future child? Scary isn't it. [/quote]

That's not what it sounds like at all. It sounds like OP has the mistaken belief you can just "do" something about special needs. She has no idea what goes on at his moms house or how much work might be put into working with him that makes minimal difference or falls by the wayside when he's at dad's. Instead she just wants to blame mom, because that's cool. Op has no business inserting herself into this issue anymore than she has. If she can't handle the child as he is, the good news for her is she doesn't have to. [/quote]

I don't get all of you who are attacking OP. If this kid turns suicidal or into a school shooter some day you'll be the first ones telling that the dad and stepmother should have been doing something about his issues. She sees a problem and wants to explore the options, but can't do that if Dad is in denial. To me, it sounds like this kid is asking for help and she's the only one listening. Maybe there's nothing that can completely fix it all, but if you don't try to help, how will you know?[/quote]

I'm attacking OP because *she has no idea* what his mom does for him which is probably a fuckton, but because the kid isn't normal, she thinks mom is doing nothing. So much time and effort and money is poured into kids with special needs and sometimes it doesn't show and sometimes the kids will just never function like typical kids, but that doesn't mean the parents are doing nothing. OP isn't a parent, let alone THIS kid's parent, and probably has zero idea what it's like to parent a kid with special needs full time. So she's going to just rag on the kid and act like because his dad can't make him behave like a typical kid that nobody is doing anything for him. I think of all the IEP meetings I've attended for my kid, the doctor's appointments, the talks with teachers, and this is for MILD learning disabilities, and it ticks me off to think that this kid's mom is probably doing all of this by herself behind the scenes so OP can come here and play Hollywood Savior Stepmom. [/quote]

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