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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH is super engaged with DS and DD.  Always has been.  My observation is men either learn it at home from their father or they deliberately choose to act differently.  My DH did not learn this at home and he was in military school from 12.  He didn't want to be like his father so he's been the opposite - cooks, is engaged with their school, loves sharing history books with DD and cooking with DS.  To OP - have you talked about this with DH?  Could you be setting your kids up for choosing a husband who acts exactly the same?[/quote]

Same with DH. My DH's dad was a business executive and traveled a lot away from home... DH remembers very few encounters with his dad as he was growing up... MIL complains that he did nothing. Even now, as a retired 70 year old man, he can't cook his own meals or take care of himself, let alone someone else. DH, on the other hand, is extremely involved with our kids... from birth he has changed diapers, does their laundry, cooks/packs their lunches, plays with them, drops off/picks up from daycare, and attends the older kids' extracurricular activities pretty evenly with me (we both work). My only complaint about him is that he is a total pushover and the kids take advantage... but that complements my very-strict nature (which is also a reaction to my mom's laissez-faire parenting).

Not every dad is disinterested... I think it's more appropriate to look at why he, as an individual, is disinterested. [/quote]

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